Getting Past the Naysayers
Nattering Nabobs of Negativism!
Yes, I know Spiro Agnew coined the expression “nattering nabobs of negativism” back in the 70s. The first time I heard it I thought it was pretty amusing. To an extent, I still do. However, it’s not so funny when that negativity is directed toward us. I guess back then our society had its share of negativity. Unfortunately, today I think it still does. And, not just in politics. It seems like if someone has an idea about having fun, some new adventure, or about pursuing a new opportunity, the naysayers come flying out the woodwork to extinguish the flames of our dreams or ambitions. I’m not sure why that’s the case, but they seem to be lurking around every corner just waiting to provide their insights into why something can’t be done. They’re well versed in all their reasons, and they will enthusiastically defend them.
When we made the decision to do extensive long-term travel, we set our sights on Europe. However, we had many well-meaning family members and friends who questioned our sanity. We were told Europe is too dangerous, there are too many thieves, gypsies, etc. I’m just glad we don’t have those issues in the United States! We were told that terrorism is high, and they’re really out to get Americans. We were told the antichrist was coming, and that World War III was on the verge of breaking out. We were told it was too expensive, and that we wouldn’t be able to get around. I think you get the idea. For a lot of people, any one of these “reasons” would have been enough to conclude that others are right, and it just doesn’t make sense to do it.
Over the years we’ve learned that so many excuses are really just a means that people use to express why they don’t want to do something themselves, or why they don’t want others to do something. I often use the example of wanting to borrow someone’s lawnmower or making a request to come over for a visit. In these instances, the response might be: “Haven’t you heard it’s raining in China? And don’t you know I need to paint my house?” Then you ask, “What does that have to do with whether I can borrow your mower?” Their response? “Not a thing. But, if I don’t want you to use my mower, then any excuse will do.”
However, we choose to believe that the people who tell us these things are genuinely concerned for our welfare and have our best interest at heart. The hardest part about responding to their objections is to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt their feelings and to express your appreciation for their concerns.
In response to the excuses and negativity we’ve received over the years, we’ve also learned many antidotes. Here’s one of my favorites, “If you really want to do something bad enough, you’ll find a way to do it.” And here’s one my mom used to say when I was growing up, “If there’s a will, there’s a way!” A good friend of Lynette’s, who is a world-class competitive archer recently posted, “Winners see the dream, and develop the plans, while losers see the obstacles and develop excuses.” We have become that couple who doesn’t shy away from any challenge. In fact, we almost seem to seek them out. We have a very dear a friend, Shawn, and she recently posted this about us: “Well, there aren’t two people in the world that have more confidence in pulling absolutely anything off even when going in blind!!!”
So how did we respond to all of the naysayers? We swept away all the excuses, and objections, and we pressed on. At the time we didn’t know how we were going to do it. We knew with our small retirement fund we didn’t have the money to travel extensively, and it was something we sorely wanted to do once we retired. We took inventory of what we had …our assets, if you will. Realistically, we couldn’t sell our furniture and house and use the proceeds to go travel. Ultimately you do have to have a place to come home to when your age or health preclude long-distance adventures. But our house is a wonderful asset! While not paid off, we live in a nice house in a highly desirable location.
One day Lynette was looking at rent prices, so she floated the idea of: “Hey, what would you think about renting our house?” I thought it was a great idea! Our attitudes play a big role in our lives. Can you see that? I learned a long time ago that if you have a big enough REASON (for what you want), you will FIND the means, or resources to accomplish it. Your mind will literally work on it subconsciously until the solution makes its way to your conscience. Was it scary for us? You bet it was. Did we hear tons of reasons for why we shouldn’t? You bet we did. In the end, if we let the choices of our lives get dictated by others we would wind up with regrets. For us, we dismissed all of the reasons, and in the process, we think we “cracked the code” to be able to travel, keep our house, and have a wonderful lifestyle. After all, others don’t have anything planned for your life. If you let others decide what you do, where you go, or what you have, what do you think you’ll have to look back on for your life? The answer is easy. Not much! We believe in going for our dreams, and we want to help others achieve theirs. If it is to be, it is up to me!
Wow, I would never have thought to do this! You both are very brave! I look forward to learning more!